


Beetlejuice Request Fics!

by SirGawain



Category: Beetlejuice (1988), Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Other, Requests, Ship, request
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:06:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23179693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirGawain/pseuds/SirGawain
Summary: I'll be posting any fic I write as a Tumblr request on here. If you want something written, send me an ask at betelfic!Tags will be updated as I continue.
Relationships: Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice/Originial Female Character(s), Claire Brewster/Lydia Deetz, Miss Argentina/The Magician's Assistant
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	1. Adam and Barb Have a Cow

“Honey, when I said we should get a pet I meant a dog, or a cat, or- or maybe even a turtle, not a cow.”

Barb gave Adam a look, which was a perfect mix of “please let me keep her” and “there is nothing you can say that will change my mind”. Adam was incredibly familiar with that look. “But Adam look at her. She’s adorable, and we’ll never need to buy milk again,” Barb said, cradling the calf in her arms.

Adam couldn’t argue against that, and he smiled at Barbara. “Fine, but let’s stick to one cow.”

They didn’t end up with just one cow. At first, Barb was worried that Debs, the first calf, might be lonely. Adam couldn’t lie, he had grown to adore the farm animals pretty much an hour after Barb had brought the first home.

It worked well, in a way. A family-owned business and a family-owned farm. Milk was sold at the hardware store from time to time, but money from that was used to spoil the cows even more than Barb already insisted on.

The couple found a sort of comfort, sitting in the wide-open yard, reading whatever novels they had recently obtained. The cows occasionally wandered over, and on some occasions Barb, and rarer still, Adam found that they were stuck sitting in the grass, a stubborn cow keeping her head in one of their laps, delighting in getting their head pet.


	2. The Beauty Queen and the Magician's Assistant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request: Anything about Miss Argentina and the Magician's Assistant.
> 
> I honestly adore these two, they deserve their own fic.

The waiting room was dull. Every minute was the same, every dead person asked the same questions, and every answer (please take a number, your caseworker will be with you eventually) blurred together. No one stood out to the receptionist, until her.

Her skin was blue. That wasn’t horribly unusual, plenty of people got fancy and exciting skin colors when they died. She had been green for decades now. However, the beauty queen couldn’t help but think about how soft her skin looks, and how nice it would be to kiss her on the cheek.

The dead stayed in the waiting room for ages. Days if they were lucky, but usually it was weeks or months. Everyone died, everyone needed help. So, Miss Argentina had some time to work up the nerve to talk to her. It was a common question, but usually a good ice breaker for the dead. “How did you die?”

The blue woman looked up in surprise, raising her eyebrows. “I think it’s pretty obvious, I’m falling to pieces over here,” she said, gesturing to the pair of legs that were seated beside her torso.

“I see that, but people are bisected in a fascinating number of ways.”

“My boyfriend was a magician. I was his assistant. Found out he was cheating and… Well, we did one last trick together,” she said and waved it off, shrugging. “What about you?”

“All civil servants killed themselves.”

“Lots of ways to get bisected, lots of ways to off yourself.”

Miss Argentina held up her wrists, showing the wounds. “You know if I knew then what I know now-”

“I know what you’re saying.”

The beauty queen rested her head on her hand, looking at the other woman fondly. “Death does have its upsides though.”


	3. Makeover!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request: Beetlejuice gets a makeover!

"Hey Beej? Why do you always wear that suit?"

Beetlejuice looked at Lydia like she was stupid. It was because he thought she was stupid. "Because it's the only clothing I own. Duh."

Lydia took her turn at looking at him like he was stupid. "Why don't you buy more clothing? Or steal it? Hey, we could go shoplifting together! It's so easy to steal from Walmart."

He scratched at his scruff because somewhere along the line someone had forgotten to tell Beetlejuice that all those wise thinkers were rubbing their chins. "I do enjoy causing problems on purpose," he said thoughtfully.

"Can I come? Beetlejuice, I really think I could bring out your essence," Delia said, gently taking one of his hands.

"Delia, this is a safe for work fanfiction and that is entirely inappropriate. There could be minors reading this."

"Beetlejuice what are you talking about?"

"Why do you think I know?"

Lydia stood up, grabbing Beetlejuice by the arm. "Beej I have no idea what you're talking about, but come on! You could wear something that isn't stripes!"

"But I like stripes!"

"Stripes that don't smell like death!"

"But I am dead!"

"I'll get you a Zagnut bar?"

He pursed his lips like he was thinking, and then clasped his hands together. "All right! I'm in."

"Shopping", which mostly consisted of Lydia grabbing as many things as she could fit into her purse, and Delia distracting any security guard who looked their way, went well. Beetlejuice couldn't try anything on, mostly on account of being an invisible dead demon, and it was incredibly hard to justify taking up a changing room while stealing. He still got to veto items, even the ones that Delia swore were in tune with his aura.

At home a pile of clothes were thrown at him, a significant portion hitting him directly in the face. "I know you did that on purpose Lyds!"

"You'll never be able to prove it in court!"

It took a while for Beetlejuice to come out in the first outfit. It had been centuries since he had worn something new that hadn't been conjured for a joke, or something that he hadn't repaired a dozen times himself. His hands ran over the fabric, surprised at how soft it was. And it was his! Lydia had stolen it for him.

When he came down the stairs in a green shirt and jeans, looking more human than his incredibly brief time as a living person, and with tears pouring down his face.

"Beetlejuice you look positively- oh no you're crying." Delia walked over. "I'm sure we can find you a good outfit, it's like my guru Otho always says-"

Before she could finish the demon pulled both of them into a tight hug.

"You look horrible." Lydia's voice was muffled, but Beetlejuice still laughed.

"You picked it out! If I look horrible it's your fault." He sniffled and let them go, smiling through his tears. "Thank you both."


	4. Claire Brewster is Sometimes Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request: may I kindly ask for some Lydia x Claire Brewster? It’s my favorite rarepair and nobody ever writes stuff about it

Lydia was tempted to turn around in the hallway when she saw Claire Brewster standing at her locker. It would have been useless though. Her locker was next to Claire’s, and the other girl had a class with her next anyways. Better to get it over with.

The goth readied herself for some quip or insult, but Claire looked drained. Her makeup was only half done, and her hair looked like it hadn’t been fully blow-dried. She scowled at Lydia, but it lacked any and all real menace.

“What do you want weirdo?” Her words sounded empty.

“Jeez Claire, what’s wrong with you?” Lydia didn’t want an answer. Who cared if Claire Brewster was having a bad day? She was rude and annoying, and if anything Lydia was definitely happy that she seemed so upset because that meant she wouldn’t be as annoying today. Lydia didn’t care at all.

Claire humphed and tossed her hair, walking away from Lydia. The moment she was no longer visible her shoulders slumped and she collapsed into her seat in the classroom, resting her head on the desk. Lydia took her place beside her a few minutes later. Assigned seats were a bitch.

Normally Claire had another insult for Lydia by now. Normally Claire looked immaculate. Normally Lydia wouldn’t notice how Claire’s eyes looked a little puffy like she had been crying all night.

“Claire?”

“What loser?”

Lydia was regretting speaking now. “We need to work on this history project soon, do you want to come over to my house and get it finished?”

“It’s not due for another week.”

“Yeah, but Miss Lewis gets mad if projects are rushed.”

Lydia could have sworn she saw relief flash across Claire’s face. “Okay, fine! If you want to be a geek about it,” she said, but it didn’t feel mean to Lydia. It felt like a mask.

~~~

“DAD I’M WORKING ON HOMEWORK WITH CLAIRE!!!” The yelling did more than just alert her father that Claire was over, it was also a warning to the ghosts that another living person was there. They deserved a warning, and Claire was horrible but that didn’t mean she deserved to be horrible traumatized. Maybe.

“You’re so weird.”

“He’s in the back!” He wasn’t. “I have to be loud.” She could have cut it down by half and been fine. Lydia gestured for Claire to follow, her combat boots clunking on the hardwood steps. It was the perfect balance of obnoxious and goth, which was Lydia’s ideal self.

There’s an awkward silence as they sit around a table in Lydia’s room. “Thanks for hosting,” Claire said, and it sounds genuine. Something nice from Claire Brewster, Lydia would consider that a win.

“Yeah. You looked like you needed something to do.”

Claire looked down. She was in the home of someone who, by all logic, should hate her, and Lydia was treating her with more kindness than she deserved. “I’m just stressed. It’s not a big deal,” she said dismissively. She pushed a marker, watching it roll across the construction paper that they had gathered for this project.

“You know, we have a week to do this, we could watch some movies.”

Claire looked at her in shock. “You’re the one who wanted to start early!”

Lydia flashed her a devious grin, like she should have seen this coming. “Yeah, but we can rush it.”

“You said Miss Lewis hates rushed projects.”

“I lied.”

Usually, Claire would just insult Lydia for something like this, but it was sweet. “You know… A movie sounds nice.”


	5. Good Old Fashioned Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request: BeetleJade being chaotic 
> 
> Note: BeetleJade is a ship my friend and I have had for nearly a year now, between Beetlejuice and one of my OCs, Jade. She’s Lydia’s murdered teacher, and she’s just here for a good time now.

Ghosts could leave the house. Beetlejuice was right that they couldn't leave the house usually, but there were a few ways to work around this. The easiest, when you had access to a breather who could see the living, was to hold on to them when they left. It was key that the living person opens the door and leaves first, otherwise, that became a door to Saturn, and you wouldn't have a living person for long. It was key for the ghost to hold on to the living person until they were inside again, or they risked being torn away to Saturn, or something else horrible happening. No one really wanted to find out.

This meant that on more than one occasion Lydia had left her home with a chain of ghosts trailing off of her, all wanting to go different places. At this point popping into around ten different places was just part of her weekly routine.

"Lydia, would you mind if I tagged along with you to school today? I wanted to spend some time in the library," Jade said softly from her place on the couch.

The ghost had been brought into the household after being murdered in her home and asking repeatedly to leave. It turned out no one really liked to be stuck inside for weeks on end, much less facing down eternity alone. Sure, she could have gone to the Netherworld, but after breaking into her home less than a day after her death, Lydia had informed her that moving on tended to be permanent. And there was so much left to do! Like, get horrifying revenge on those who wronged you!

"Sure, just don't murder any of the other teachers." She paused for a moment. "The gym teacher counts as a teacher."

"I'm not going to kill anyone, I just want to do some reading and see how my class is being handled without me," she explained. Jade didn't notice the demon coming up behind her, who proceeded to pick her up off the couch and into a standing position beside him. He tossed his arm around her while she glared at him.

"I'm coming too!"

"Why?"

"Can't terrorize anyone if everyone is somewhere else. Besides, your teacher here needs to be taught how to haunt!" Beetlejuice grabbed Jade's face, squishing it. "She lacks any and all ability to be intimidating."

"I am scary!" Jade protested although it lost any effect when her voice was so altered by the way he had squished it. "I committed arson!"

"Babes, you told me that story. You were drunk and sixteen, and the tree was in your backyard." He let go of her face and ruffled her hair when she stuck her tongue out at him. All seemed forgiven when he planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek, and she leaned on him, her hand taking his, fingers knitted together.

Lydia watched the two of them the same way any teenager watched two affectionate adults, a healthy mix of complete disgust and affection. "Uh yeah, you two can come, just don't get me in trouble."

"Come on Lyds, when have I ever been trouble?"

"You have killed multiple people."

He shrugged it off. "Murder isn't that bad."

"Just… Behave Beetlejuice! And you too Jade! I know he's a bad influence."

School was school. Boring, cement, with lighting that no human being should exist in. Jade was excited though, her fingers fluttering and she was hovering slightly while Beetlejuice walked the halls. Being here brought some of her life back.

Beetlejuice peaked into a classroom. "Hey babes, isn't that the math teacher who was a jerk to you?" He looked over at her, wiggling his eyebrows. "You wanna have some fun?"

"We promised Lydia to not get her in trouble."

"She doesn't even have them as a teacher," Beetlejuice pointed out, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Come on babes, it doesn't even need to be lethal."

Jade floated up to kiss him on the tip of the nose, utterly delighting in the small streak of pink that appeared in the mass of green that made up his hair. "Fine, a small amount of chaos. Then I want to go to the library like I said."

Beetlejuice, never one for small gestures, dipped her and planted a kiss on her lips. "You're the best babes."

It was never actually a small amount of chaos. Beetlejuice was unsurprisingly wrong, and Lydia's fifth-period class was math. Mr. Parks looked like he was near breakdown, and all of the desks were on the ceiling, and Lydia certainly didn't miss the two ghosts giggling in the corner.

"Hey, Lyds!" Beetlejuice had his arm around Jade, who was giggling softly while she focused on keeping the desks in place.

Lydia, who was pretty determined to have her math teacher not think she was crazy, glared at the two ghosts.

Jade cringed away from her glare and waved her hand. The desks crashed down around Lydia. There was a ring around her, as if none wanted to hit her. One did land on Mr. Parks' foot though.

Lydia sat at a nearby desk. "You two are terrible," she mumbled.

"But, you gotta admit, you love us," Beetlejuice said, pinching her cheek.

"In my defense, someone told me you didn't have math," Jade said, nudging Beetlejuice's arm.

"Yeah. I don't pay attention to anything"

"We'll get out of your hair kid," Jade said. "Library, maybe?"

Beetlejuice huffed, kissing her cheek. "Fine, but I'm going to eat the books."


	6. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request: Hey! I was wondering if you could write some good beetlelands/goldenrat? The Maitlands protecting beej from his mom and or something else, and proving beej they love him? Maybe?

Sleep was a new concept for Beetlejuice. It had been useless in the Netherworld, and since he didn't get tired in the traditional sense, sleep was… pointless.

Or, it was, until he had discovered the joys of sleeping next to another person. Or two people!

It had taken a long time to get here. Relationships, real relationships that weren't hooking up with someone or just harassing them, were a lot of work. When he was here, cozied between his two favorite people in the world, all of that work was very worth it.

So, sleep was new. Dreams we very new. Barb had thought it was incredibly sweet when he had asked her if what he had experienced was a dream. That also meant that he had never experienced the opposite side of dreams, nightmares.

The only experience Beetlejuice had with nightmares was being described as something out of one. Maybe they would be fun, he liked plenty of things that breathers hated. He was, of course, incredibly wrong about that.

It happened one night, while he was curled up between Adam and Barbara. The dream opened with them, but it was different than how he knew them. Everything felt angular and overwhelming, and their voices were harsh and cut into him. It made him think of his mother. Then, as nightmares often do, it shifted to something else.

He was in front of Juno again. The demonic bitch in all of her horrible glory. The words were still unclear but he knew the message. He didn't deserve love. He would be left behind again, why was this any different? He was a mistake of a child that had killed his own mother. What a fuck-up.

The demon woke up in the middle of a panic attack, sitting up trembling. Adam woke up with him, as he had been jolted off of Beetlejuice's chest when he sat up. Barb was curled up a little away from the two of them, with most of the blankets. "Love-bug? What's up?" he said drowsily, but when he looked at his partner he reached across him to wake up Barb as well. "Beetlejuice, look at me, what's going on?"

"I saw my mom," he said, and that was enough for him to get wrapped in a hug from behind by Barb.

"Oh, Beetlejuice I think you had your first nightmare," she said softly, giving him a gentle squeeze. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He hesitated, then shook his head. He didn't want them to think he was a freak or something. "I'll just go downstairs and find some bugs to eat, you two should sleep."

Adam and Barbara gave each other a look, a silent form of communication built up over many years of marriage. "Well love-bug, why don't we join you? We can watch a scary movie."

Barb gave Beetlejuice another squeeze from behind. "And cuddle on the couch," she mumbled softly in his ear.

"You two would do that for me?"

"Of course Beetlejuice, we love you," Adam said like it should have been obvious all along. The demon felt tears well in his eyes as Barb mumbled a quiet agreement in his ear. He pressed a kiss to Adam's lips, and did the same to Barb, twisting in a way that wasn't humanly possible.

"I'll meet you guys down there," he said, and when they were gone he nearly sobbed, not with fear, or being upset, but with the overwhelming sense he was loved.


	7. Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request: Beetlejuice scared of a horror movie.

Beetlejuice loved horror movies. The gore, the scared breathers, everything. He loved that he finally had a friend to share his addiction to these movies with. Lydia was just as excited as he was, and the two of them had turned the living room into a mess of blankets and snacks. It was pretty much the ideal night for the pair. It was like hanging out with the sibling he never had.

This movie was... different though. It was a lot more psychological, centered around the mother. He felt a growing knot in his stomach, and all of his jokes slowly started to stop.

“Beej?” Lydia’s voice sounded like it was a million miles away, and he curled in on himself. “What’s going on?”

His breath was coming in short bursts, not that he actually needed to breathe. “I... I don’t know.”

“Dad!”

Charles Deetz ran in, because with a demon in the house you always needed to be ready to run in. He expected some sort of horrible prank, but what he saw was his daughter trying to comfort a demon who was obviously in the middle of an anxiety attack. “Lydia, go get a glass of water,” he said, and Lydia ran off to the kitchen.

“Beetlejuice, listen to me, slow breathing,” he said, breathing along with him, gesturing to demonstrate in and out. “Has this happened before?”

“Not since Juno,” he mumbled. “I used to get horrible when... she yelled.” He hadn’t realized his hands were pulling on his hair until Charles started to work his fingers out of his hair. It was a dark purple right now, worse than Charles had ever seen it.

Charles nodded, and gently rubbed Beetlejuice’s back. “Keep breathing with me,” he said, and eventually the demon started to uncurl. Lydia returned with the glass of water. “Here, crying dehydrates you.”

“I didn’t even realize I was crying,” he said quietly, gulping the water down.

Charles wrapped an arm around Beetlejuice, rubbing his back. “Why don’t you two watch something calmer, and call if you need me again.”

Lydia nodded. “Hey Beej, you wanna watch Teeth?”

Beetlejuice nodded, feeling a little bit better already.


	8. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request: GoldenBeetle fluff

Beetlejuice didn’t really sleep all that often. He figured that it was a cultural thing, the dead didn’t really have a need to sleep, and being born dead meant that he needed it even less, so it was never something that was emphasized to him. 

The Maitlands on the other hand? Those sweet, practically still breathing they acted so alive “ghosts”? Every night. Like clockwork. Around nine they would start getting ready for bed and be asleep by ten. Then they stayed there, asleep, and cute for an entire eight hours, until they woke up around six. Barbara and Adam would make breakfast, Lydia would shuffle in half asleep as she got ready for school. Delia was always oddly alert in the morning, but Charles seemed to be exactly like his daughter, not awake until he was halfway through his day.

And yet, there was Beetlejuice. He was always awake, except for a couple nights a week that he slept. It was happening more and more, those darn Maitlands infecting him with a fondness for being held and cuddled for a very long time, but more often than not he ended up… lonely. 

It wasn’t unbearable like loneliness used to be, when Juno would abandon him for hours, days, or even weeks on end. This he knew would end, and he knew that he wasn’t being left alone out of hatred. It didn’t mean he wasn’t lonely though. 

Tonight was movie night, and even more special was that they were the only three in the house. Lydia was having a sleepover with her friends, and Delia and Charles were staying in a cabin for the weekend. That left Beetlejuice in charge of the house. Actually, Charles had specified no less than five times that Barbara was in charge, Adam was second in command, and Beetlejuice was “Not allowed to make a single decision beyond calling the fire department if needed”, but Beetlejuice figured that pretty much meant that he was in charge. 

Adam and Beetlejuice were on either side of Barb, and some horror movie was playing. It scared Adam, but Beetlejuice and Barb could only laugh and comfort the man that they loved. The demon kept glancing at the clock, and when he felt Adam moved, because Adam liked to get ready for bed first, he let out a little whine.

“What’s wrong Beetlejuice?” Barbara said sweetly, running a hand through his rapidly purpling hair. 

“Could you two stay up with me tonight? C’mon it’ll be fun,” he said, dodging Barb’s question with all of the grace of an elephant competing in synchronized swimming. 

“Beetlejuice,” she said, her tone insistent.

He let out a long and dramatic groan because he had a reputation to maintain as incredibly dramatic. “I don’t like being alone! And you two sleep for so long and you sleep every single night, I was thinking that, maybe, just this one time… You two could stay awake with me, instead of me making myself sleep.”

Barb and Adam looked at each other, and it was an incredibly quick silent communication. “So, Beetlejuice, what do you usually do while we sleep?” Adam was leaning in as he spoke because he wanted Beetlejuice to know he was heard. 

“Uh, wait for you to wake up? What kind of question is that A-Dog? Only one of us can be stupid and hot, and I already fill that role.” He’s joking to hide how genuinely sad it is to say that he only sits around waiting for them, and also because he doesn’t want them to know about all the pranks, he pulls around town while they sleep. That’s a conversation for when he was more comfortable being scolded. 

Barb and Adam looked at each other again, and, almost wordlessly, sat on either side of Beetlejuice, snuggling up to the demon. He was a little surprised, and stiff, but he settled his arms around them both. “So, what’s the plan?” The demon could barely hide how ecstatic he was that they hadn’t left him, and one of his hands was rapidly flapping. 

“Well, we’ll stay up with you and do whatever you want,” Barbara said, leaning up and kissing his cheek. “After all, you’ve slept next to us enough nights. I think you’ve earned this love bug.”

“I have one idea,” he said, eyes darting towards the bedroom.

“I thought you didn’t want to- OH!” Adam’s face had changed from confused to surprised in an instant. “That sounds nice. I mean, yeah! Let’s-“

“Adam we’ve been dating for months, just say you want to fuck.”

“I will not.”

Beetlejuice laughed, and then pulled Adam in for a deep kiss. Then Barb right after him. “So, to the bedroom? And no sleeping.” He had a feeling this was going to be an utterly blissful night.


End file.
